Sword Snow Stride Book 1 Chapter 30

Book 1 – White Horse Out of Liangzhou
Chapter 30 – Infuriating the World Crazy

Xu Fengnian was just about to go to the mute sword maniac to ask for advice on the so-called sword qi, but he heard a sound of anguished wailing like a pig being slaughtered, carrying the mournful sobbing tone like someone bereaved of his father and mother. Xu Fengnian laughed and turned around. He saw a big meat ball rolling and crawling over. Quickly he picked the Xiudong scabbard to withstand the three hundred jin meat ball’s momentum. The only person dared to be this shameless and used blatantly fawning manner in front of Shizi Dianxia was this clump of fat and weird Chu Lushan. _{Translated by foxs}

Seeing the darkened-skin Xu Fengnian, the fatty’s, whose nickname was Lu Qiu’er [reminder: lit. official salary ball] snot and tears burst out. He struggled to half-squat at Shizi Dianxia’s feet, his white and fat hands grabbed the Xiudong scabbard, while sobbing uncontrollably.

Xu Fengnian loved to see Lu Qiu’er’s exaggerated antics the most; seeing one time, he was happy one time. As for whether it was genuine or not, as long as one day the king’s banner with character ‘Xu’ did not fall, it could not be more genuine than genuine.

Xu Fengnian took out the scabbard and patted the grand Qian Niu Long Wu Jiangjun’s [thousand oxen dragon martial/military general] cheek, he said, “Get up and talk. A three-Pin general kneeling down in front of me, I have never even heard of you kneeling down in front of your Die and Niang. But I heard people say that you took those two elders to vent your anger for no reason at all, what kind of propriety is that? By the way, Lu Qiu’er, the business that Xu Xiao handed over to you, have you accomplished it?” _{foxswuxia.wordpress.com}

Chu Lushan did not bother to wipe the several buckets of sweat on his body from climbing Wudang. He struggled to stand up, all the fat on his body was trembling, it was really hard to imagine how his servant girls and concubines could withstand the pressure of three hundred jin of meat. The plump fat ball laughed flatteringly and said, “It’s seventy-, eighty-percent complete, only a little bit left. Someone is keeping an eye on it so that there won’t be any leak, only waiting Dianxia to inspect it. Lu Qiu’er’s Die and Niang are two old but not to be revered goods. They gave birth to me, that was a good thing, why would I have to kneel before them? On the other hand, Shizi Dianxia is yingming shenwu [lit. brilliant divine martial/military], one person has already monopolized the eight Dou [unit of weight] of literary or artistic talents under the heavens[1]. Having now achieved great success in saber training [swordsmanship], precisely becoming well versed in letters and military technology [idiom: master of pen and sword], kneeling in front of Dianxia to the death, I am most willing to do. Dianxia, this mountain is really not a place for people to stay. Lu Qiu’er boldly asked Dianxia to return to Wangfu. Hey, this time Lu Qiu’er went out on business, on Jiangnan Road over there, I found a pair of lovely Bing Di Lian [twin lotus flowers on one stalk, fig. a devoted married couple] just turn 13 or 14 years old [orig. doukou nianhua, lit.  cardamom (Elettaria cardamomum) age: early teens; adolescence, fig. a girl’s teenage years, maidenhood, a budding beauty] for Shizi Dianxia, yet they are well-endowed like beautiful women. Dianxia, you can collect them!”

His face gloomy, Xu Fengnian said, “Bing Di Lian?”

Not sure how he offended Shizi Dianxia, Chu Lushan’s mind whirled at the speed of light, suddenly he recalled the old servant who was missing his front teeth. Among the nine swords, it seemed like the Sword Two was called Bing Di Lian. The fatty quickly slapped himself twice, the strength was enormous, without the slightest bit of hesitation. His face became like braised pork, he spoke with remorse, “Xiaode [lit. the lowly one, used when talking to a superior] deserves to die!” _{Translated by foxs}

Xu Fengnian put his arm around Chu Lushan’s shoulders, he laughed and said, “Look, the sentiment between us, two brothers has become estranged, right? This Shizi scare you, but did you take it seriously? Now that deserve a slap.”

Lu Qiu’er nodded vigorously, he fiercely slapped himself two more times. ‘Slap! Slap!’ it was extremely loud, absolutely using the strength from milk feeding the previous night. In Liang territory, Chu Lushan’s vicious name was resounding, his deeds encompassed so many levels that the bamboo slats have been exhausted [idiom: innumerable crimes]. Among them was that whenever he heard about a beautiful woman giving birth to a child, he would abduct her and take her to his mansion where he would suck her breast for milk. If the breast milk was outstanding, the end result was not bad, once he has had enough, he would reward her with silver coins and send her away. If it was not good, he would chop her breasts off.

This kind of jackal and wolf has always been a dog in the Liang Wangfu. But this dog accompanied Da Zhu Guo in military campaigns to the north and south, he once accomplished the magnificent feat of blocking no less than eleven swords with Xu Xiao on his back on the battlefield. Therefore, after Xu Xiao was bestowed the title Wang [King, Prince in western world], he pledged that this adopted son Chu Lushan could commit up to eleven capital offenses without being put to death.

As for several other adopted sons, each had their own factions, but they all extremely disdained Chu Lushan. For example, Yuan Zuozong never looked directly at this fatty, to say nothing of Ren Tu [mass murderer] Chen Zhibao, who even said bluntly that in the future he would light Lu Qiu’er’s dead body to become a sky lantern. _{foxswuxia.wordpress.com}

Xu Fengnian brought Chu Lushan to the Xi Xiang Chi [sic, I think the author was confused, between Bai Xiang Chi and Xi Xiang Chi, and Hong Xixiang’s name (same xi and xiang characters]. Suddenly he felt coolness, looking at the round ball, he squatted down, cautious and solemn, scooped some water with both hands, and splashed it on his face.

Xu Fengnian laughed and asked, “You went up the mountain with great trouble, aren’t you going to yell some choice words to my face?”

Chu Lushan raised his head and said with a laugh, “I have some interesting stories recently, afraid that Shizi Dianxia might be lonely on the mountain, I want to tell them to Shizi Dianxia to relieve your boredom.”

Xu Fengnian’s interest was piqued, he said, “Lu Qiu’er still warms my heart, quickly tell me.”

Chu Lushan plopped hit butts on a rock, radiant with delight, he said, “The first thing is that a young genius swordsman called Wu Liuding emerged from the Wu Jia Jian Zhong [Wu Family Sword Tomb]. He came out of the Jian Zhong at the age of twenty and went down the mountain to challenge famous swordsmen in the world. So far, he has not been utterly defeated, very soon he is going to reach Yue Wang Jian Chi [King of Yue Sword Pond], presumably very quickly there will be a good show. This man surnamed Wu’s sword technique is extremely not bad. Alone, with a single sword, he wandered from the north to the south. Although he has not fought with any first-rate martial art master, but the masters who died under his sword are already six or seven, all were hard-targets-who-are-difficult-to-deal-with [according to Baike.Baidu, this is Jianghu code word] who had made their names for several dozens of years. But Lu Qiu’er thought that no matter his sword is more formidable, compared to Dianxia‘s saber, it would be like an embroidery needle.” _{Translated by foxs}

Xu Fengnian was all smiles, but he declined to comment, the expression showing in his eyes signaled Lu Qiu’er to continue.

Lu Qiu’er wiped the water droplets on his face that were warmed by his body temperature right after it came out of the pool, he continued, “The next two things are concerning Er Junzhu [second princess; reminder: not the emperor’s daughter, which is gongzhu]. Two jun [ten days/ten years/full period] ago, Er Junzhu was acting as a junior libation proctor at the Shangyin Academy. The former Xi Shu [western Sichuan] scholar submitted a wu yan jue ju [poetic form consisting of four lines of five syllables, with rhymes on first, second and fourth line] to be graded. She graded it with four characters ‘bu kan ru mu’ [unbearable to look at]. The scholar did not accept, so he asked who among all the poetry experts under the heavens can be pleasing to the eye [both ru yan here and ru mu above mean ‘entering the eye’]?

Dianxia, do you know how Er Junzhu responded? Er Junzhu presented a point-by-point commentary, nearly offended all the literary giants and famous scholars in the king’s court! She criticized Song Qimen’s poetry as being weak, full of lady chamber’s lewdness and obscenity, of sleeping prostitutes’ innuendo. She commented on the great scholar Yuan Jiang, Shen Haitang, Zhang Jiao and the like, their technique and ideas were weak, they angled for fame [idiom], their overall talents and emotions not high, their particular charm and interest not great, they are far from being called masters of poetry. Commenting on the Shangyin Academy’s master of poetry Yan Jidao’s short zhang [chapter/movement (in symphony)] and small ling [type of short song or poem], they are purely based on nature, the individual strength and skill cannot be seen. _{foxswuxia.wordpress.com}

Even Er Junzhu’s teacher Su Huang did not escape the calamity. He was criticized for being very affectionate but lacking in truth. Like a beauty from a poor family, although extremely lovely and abundant in beauty, she lacks the bearing of riches and honor! In the end, those scholars inordinately proud of their ability [idiom: conceited and contemptuous] were shocked, no longer had any haughtiness. They had no choice but to ask in a low voice what she thought of Li Fujian, the number one poetry immortal of the current dynasty. Who would have thought that Er Junzhu still presented a point-by-point commentary that it could only be praised as sentences and phrases and not as a verse, cannot be praised as poetry, can be read, but not sung. As for those under Li Fujian, the rest are idle people with no fixed duties, they can’t even be read.”

Chu Lushan spoke until he was out of breath, glowing with health and vigor. It was strange to say, the two daughters of Da Zhu Guo, Xu Zhihu detested Lu Qiu’er bitterly, wishing she could beat him to the death and be done with it. On the contrary, Xu Weixiong, who had unsurpassed reputation, did not have too much antipathy toward this fatty. Regarding her didi [younger brother] Xu Fengnian hanging out with Chu Lushan, she never showed any interest.

Xu Fengnian laughed aloud and said, “This is so good, all the scholars under the heavens are infuriated like crazy and hopping mad.” _{Translated by foxs}

Letting out a ‘hey, hey’ mischievous laughter, Lu Qiuer said, “Dianxia is brilliant, as soon as this comment came out of the academy, angry criticism in the world is like torrential rush. On this trip, I chopped the ten fingers of the guy who dared to write an article criticizing Er Junzhu for presumptuously acting like an ant trying to shake a tree [idiom: overrating oneself].”

Intentionally or otherwise, Xu Fengnian skipped over this matter, he asked, “The last thing?”

Chu Lushan’s face showing ferocious appearance, he said, “A young man appeared out of nowhere and ran around the Shangyin Academy, he wanted to play chess against Er Junzhu. He said he wanted to imitate people of ancient times and play ten games on the lake.”

Xu Fengnian asked in surprise, “Did my Er Jie mind him?”

His brows revealed murderous intent, Chu Lushan heaved a sigh, he spoke in frustration, “Er Junzhu agreed, they played ten games in ten days, five wins and five losses.”

Xu Fengnian laughed and asked, “My guess is they played the twelve-way chessboard, not the nineteen-way that my Er Jie created?”

Chu Lushan nodded.

Xu Fengnian understood clearly, he said, “In other words, no matter how good that man’s chess power is, he still does not have qualifications to compete with my Er Jie on the nineteen-way.” _{foxswuxia.wordpress.com}

The murderous intent withdrew from Chu Lushan’s, whose body type was like the Maitreya’s [the future Bodhisattva, to come after Shakyamuni Buddha] face, immediately he appeared to be immensely proud of himself.

Xu Fengnian laughed and said, “Listening to you boasting loudly like that, I remembered one thing. My Er Jie doesn’t like me training saber, when I go down the mountain, I should pat her horse’s butts well.”

Lu Qiu’er narrowed his eyes into slits, he seemed to be particularly happy.

Xu Fengnian stood up and said, “I still want to train saber. When you go down the mountain, go to the vegetable garden to pick two cucumbers and try them. You, this fatty, don’t like to eat without meat, only by occasionally eating vegetarian food you will live longer.”

Chu Lushan stood up hurriedly, his face shed tears of gratitude.

Xu Fengnian took off his clothes, placed Xiudong Saber on the shore, with a fish leap he plunged into the deep pool.

Chu Lushan picked two cucumbers, one in each hand, no more, no less. _{Translated by foxs}

After walking for the time needed to burn a stick of incense, he rendezvoused with the imperial bodyguards and then slowly went down the mountain. When he went up the mountain, he took the main road and entered via the Xuanwu Dangxing Memorial Arch. Going down the mountain, he took the southern divine road, which was the route taken by pilgrims to go up the mountain to offer incense, more than twenty ­li of road, the mountain peaks were like bamboo shoots, the big river like white silk.

Chu Lushan was silent without saying anything, he continuously bit into the butt of the cucumber, chewed and swallowed it into his belly. The commander of the imperial bodyguards was a sturdy military general who killed people like scything flax, his master-servant relationship with this adopted son of Da Zhu Guo was not bad, so he half-jokingly said, ‘Jiangjun [General] has a good refined and elegant attitude of mind, you even have interest in cucumbers.’

Without saying a word, Chu Lushan sent out a slap; the momentum was great, the strength deep, extremely ruthless, that he knocked out several of the general’s teeth. Yet the man swallowed all the blood and teeth into his belly, he crawled and knelt on the ground, trembling with fear. _{foxswuxia.wordpress.com}

When Shizi Dianxia teased and even slapped him in the face, Lu Qiu’er was chuckling, but this moment he had no expression on his face. He kept walking along the mountain road without even looking at the extremely frightened commander. He just looked back at the tall and erect, reaching through the clouds Lotus Peak and said softly. “I really am not suited to stay on the mountain.”

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[1] ‘Eight Dou of literary or artistic talents’ is actually an interesting thing to say by Chu Lushan because it refers to Xie Lingyun’s famous backhanded compliment: ‘If the sum total of the world’s literary talents is regarded as one dou [equal to ten buckets], then Cao Zijian [third son of Cao Cao] alone can monopolize eight dou [8 of 10], I have one dou [1 of the 10], and the other literati in the world share one dou.’ On the surface, he praised Cao Zhi’s literary talents. To be able to achieve it is actually an insinuation that all the talents and learning in the world combined are not as good as one’s own. (Comment by Paonakata)